Woman Questions Boyfriend’s Motives After He Admits Marriage Would Help His Finances [Reddit]

A woman on Reddit is worried her boyfriend may want to marry her for more than love — and money could be playing a bigger role than she realized.

The 26-year-old said she and her 29-year-old boyfriend have been together for about a year and a half and are discussing marriage and eventually living together.

They're also in couples counseling, where a recent conversation about finances left her questioning his motives.

Uncomfortable Questions About Money

During the session, her boyfriend said living alone was becoming "financially difficult" and "progressively difficult" on his current income. He explained that living together would allow them to "share the burden together."

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That prompted their therapist to ask whether he was saying there was a financial benefit to him from living with his girlfriend. She said yes, that's how it sounded to her.

Her boyfriend clarified that he meant combining their households would be financially beneficial for both of them.

Her Boyfriend Has Made Jokes About Her Money Before

The explanation might have been enough — except she said there had been other comments that made her suspicious.

Couple happily shopping online with credit card and phone

Her boyfriend has jokingly called her the "breadwinner" since she got a promotion, joked about her pulling up in a future Lexus to pick him up and once joked about wanting an older woman to take care of him.

She stressed that she doesn't think he's planning to quit his job or have her support him.

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Instead, she's wondering whether her higher income is simply part of the appeal of marrying her.

He knows she makes more money than he does, although he doesn't know her exact salary. She also lives in a wealthy town more than an hour away from him, while currently living with her family.

a person using a credit card to pay for a machine

She pointed out that when she told him she wouldn't live with him unless they were married, he brought up proposing and asked what kind of ring she wanted.

Now she's wondering whether she's seeing a genuine red flag or reading too much into a perfectly normal conversation about combining finances.

Reddit Has Some Advice About His Motives

One user suggested a prenup and a clear agreement about how much each person would contribute to their household, arguing that his reaction would tell her plenty.

Another commenter offered a less suspicious take: Living together is more economical than maintaining two separate households, and recognizing that doesn't automatically mean he sees her as a financial resource.

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"If he cannot live within his means at his current income," the commenter wrote, "there is a decent chance he cannot within yours (jointly) either."

Their advice? Have the uncomfortable conversation now — with actual numbers, a budget and clear expectations — before making the relationship legally and financially permanent.